Monday, May 2, 2011

The Chaotic Juggling Act we Call Life

January 18th 2011 my life became no longer my own. I once heard someone say that the women who make the best mothers are the ones who take the time to question their ability to be a caregiver, an excellent role model, and a loving provider. Truth be told, those questions, and more, have been manipulating my though process from the second I found out I was expecting. 

I have so many plans and goals not only for my child, but also for myself. I see those mothers who are happy just being a mother and a wife, and although I respect their happiness, I want more. I know there are people who will hear me say that and tell me to quit my nagging and just be glad to have what I have. Yet, I fear their sentiments would fall upon deaf ears. I am confident in my independence, my ability to be seen as more than just a trinket on my partners arm, more than just my son’s ‘mommy’. I need to be able to balance a career, a family, and my own peace of mind without someone telling me that I need to follow the conventional ‘norm’. Is there something so terribly wrong with being a loving mother, a doting partner, and writing a complete sentence? Am I destined to become nothing more than a ‘Mommy Blogger’?

Yes, I want my children to have the means of sourcing the best oppourtunities in life, to succeed both socially and scholastically, to grow up, and have the prowess to make their own decisions and assert their independence. Yet, I also want my children to respect me as a woman who is more than just their mother. I want my boyfriend to see me as a woman who is more than just his partner. My life does not need to end just because the life of my son has begun. I still have goals and dreams that I need to achieve. I aim to be able to teach my children the importance of ambition, not giving up and always being determined to succeed. Will I be successful in the chaotic juggling act that my life has become?

Of course, I will.

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